Category: The Craic


I have this thing. I will not let any woman from eatern europe cut my hair. However, every now and then i’ll go “what the hell, it’d be handy just to get it done here and now”, and without fail, i always regret it.

Today i got my hair cut after sufferring what can only be described as a murdering of my hair by a forgetful hairdresser. I came back to one of my better experiences from Australia. Greek and Turkish barbers are ahead of the game on the haircutting front. And i found a turkish barber in waterford. Brilliant!

A lot of Irish guys out there now will be going “Fag” or “what about the hottie in the tight trousers with the big boobs that i can rest my head in while she cuts away”. To them i say, feck off, that lovely bossomy feeling lasts for ten minutes, then you have four weeks of looking like a muppet!

The guy who cut my hair today was a typical Turkish young guy, fashionable hair, questionable sexuality, but i care not, he was a dab hand with a scissors, a clippers and, most impressively, a cut-throat razor. I have forgotten how good a haircut with a cut-throat trim was.

Anyway, the point i make is, Eastern European women, stick to what your good at, painted on jeans and womens hair. Turkish Men, keep up the good work!

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ED’s Furry Fucking Guide To Metal!!! – video powered by Metacafe

Ingredients:

  1. Festive Occasion
  2. Bunch of Mates and Better Halves
  3. Mixing Agent (Beer, Bacardi Breezer, various Spirits)
  4. Eclectic mix of drinking establishments
  5. Lead Singer (Beano)
  6. Backing band (Scubadice or Pete Fagan)
  7. After Party Venue (B’s and Mine)
  8. After Party (Wii Boxing and Blazing Saddles)
  9. Happiness on Earth cos its Paddy’s Day!

Instructions:

Wash and prepare all Other Halves for between 30 and 120 minutes at varying degrees of heat. Sprinkle with Pop Music

Meanwhile, wash and roughly dry Bunch of Mates.

Marinade Other Halves and Bunch of Mates in seperate containers of Bacardi Breezer/Spirits and Beer respectively

When prepared, move to the entire collection of ingredients to the any of the Drinking Venues. Try to ensure it is the furthest away from home, so as to make the journey from thelast pub to the after party as quick as possible. Its all in the preparation!

Stop off in almost every pub on the way, soaking the ingredients with various mixers!

For entertainment value, have on of the Bunch of Mates invade the stage of the pub band, and let rip with various U2 tunes! :)

When the pub’s are closed, call sister that has been working so not drinking for a lift home. Tell her she’s feckin deadly

Get home, turn on the Wii, get stuck into some boxing! :)

get up next day. Be delighted you are with other half for 2 years! :)

Lately Ive been listening to CD’s again in my car. As a result I have now adopted the following time keeping method

It took me “Metallica – Ride the Lightning.1″ to get to work the first morning I adopted this.

The basic rule of this is “Artist – Album (*n) .x”, where “n” is the amount of times you played the full album, and x is the last track that started on the album

What this means is that i listened to all of Ride the Lightning, then the first track again.

Im mightily chuffed with this. Im calling it Phelan Time, and soon there will be a Jimmy’s Calendar, much more accurate and air-grabbing than the feckin Roman Calendar or even the shake-your-hips-to Mayan Calendar.

Today it took me “Serj Tankian – Elect the Dead.3″ to get into work. :)