Wow, am glad that feckin week is over. Sunday night i stayed in, and in doing so i managed to break one of my back teeth, lovely!! Had to go to the dentist at 5 on monday, he couldnt do anything then so the next day i went back and he had a go, oh fuck did he have a go, he had to break the roots in three and take out each piece, it took the bones of an hour and a half, and my jar is still a bit sore!!!
And thus with the pulling of the last bit of tooth (that just sounds wrong doesnt it!!) my bad start to the week was over, but no, destiny, fate, fucking $deity had other plans, yes, the appliace of flatulence to my facial area was again on the card, or more correctly to my kidney area!!
Wednesday morning, into work, not a bother at all, jaw a little tender to be honest, but otherwise just a grand lad, about to save the IT world again, but i then felt a small tightness in my lower left back, i thought it was a muscle thing, or i had slept awkardly or something.
I got up and went to the toilet, a moment of nausea puttingquite a spring in my step, but as soon as i got to the toilet something hit me like a spear straight into my kidney. Oh sweet fuck was it sore. I was pacing up and down the hall like a mad man, looking for something to slap around or box, cos my gentle jesus was it sore. Then the sweats, or man did i sweat, like someone threw a bucket of water at me!!
So i got paul to ring around for a doctor, but not a single one would see me in carlow, the pricks, i fart in your general direction you sons of silly person. Paul got through to a GP in Leighlinbridge (15 minutes drive from carlow as an unladen african swallow might drive). He had a quick look at me, said exactly what i thought, kidney stones, asked me for a "sample" and there was a good bit of blood in it (lovely). So he wrote me a prescription, and i headed back to work, grand again!! Like the hero i am!!
So there i am sitting there, saving the masses from keyboard hell, when i start to feel the tightening again, so i jump up, tell them im off, go to the chemist, get the prescription, zip home and take it. Throw them back, and everything is grand. Till 4am that morning. ARRRGHHHHHHH. Pain the likes of which i have never experienced. So i leg-it down staris, grab another two tablets, and force them down with two weetabix, the bastardin things. Not only did the pain get worse, but the feckin pills turned my stomach something special, and i had to miss work, get mam to collect me and bring me to the GP in graig, cos the useless cunt in leighlinbridge couldnt see me, so i saw Val Lonergan, he sent me into A&E in kilkenny, to get an ultrasound done.
Lovely. Hospital. Again. Almost 12 years to the day since i'd last been in. But at least i wasnt staying, just a scan and home, maybe some fun-pills
Went into A&E, had to pretend that i was in pain, the usual shit, soon as a doctor comes near the pain goes away and i could take on several bears!!! But if i wasnt in pain they would have sent me home the useless bastards. Anyway, got a shot in the ass for the pain, some really nice drugs going on there, had a smile from ear to ear!!! Got an xray done, then had to wait around for ages, then got told i had to stay in for the night to get a CT scan done in the morning, and the whole time me there, in my trivium t-shirt, jeans and runners, and not a feckin bother on me.
the huures were so all over teh place i didnt even get admitted in until after the tea, the bastards!!!
i called mam, she was grabbing my stuff from carlow for me, lapper + StarWars DVD Boxed Set, hell yeah. Jenny and dad actually came in with the stuff, dad brought in my car, and a chinese for me, feckin leg-ends there!!
After they left i got another shot, in the feckin belly, apparently to stop people getting clots in their legs. So i settled in for a night of back-to-back Star Wars - Original Trilogy. Excellent.
I watched Hope and Empire that night, and fell off to sleep, but kept waking up, strange bed and all that, and kept catching the feckin drip thingie that was in my arm on the bed clothes. I was then woken up at 6am, the curel bastards, to take my BP and temperature, i could have fucking killed the nurse, it looked like an even enough fight like, and would have been a hoot!!
So i watched Jedi then, and around 8 came breakfast, jellidge, actually porridge, but with the consistency of jelly, and the worst tea you ever tasted. At least the toast was warm!!
Around nine one of the nurses handed me my notes and told me to heaad down to CT to get the scan done. No bother at all i said, and went skipping off down the hall. Bout half an hour later i was back in the bed, in time for rounds, and a quick, "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME NOW" rant. Lovely. Anyway, there wasnt anything they could do so they buggered off, and i played some Civilization IV, until they arrived back 3 hours later, and said there wasnt any results yet, the solid useless bastards.
So, i remained where i was, feeling absolutely fine, looking like i was on my way to a concert truth be told, but no way would they let me out. So i played some more games, ate the lunch (muck), mam came in for a few minutes, she was on her way to a meeting or something, cheers mam, and no news of any results.
3pm rolled around. No sign of any news. I was getting a mite impatient. I called a nurse up and asked her did she hear any news of my CT scan, she said no, but she'd ask around. About an hour later she arrived with some random intern and asked her to get my CT results. That was the last i saw of said intern, i have images of Elliot from Scrubs in the broom closet!! The poor girl, i wasnt exactly approachable.
5pm. Still no joy on the CT results front so i get the nurse again, and emphasise how im not staying another feckin night (the Gym wasnt up to standard and the pool wasnt the required 50 metres i required) so she said she'd give my doc an earful, and fair play to the woman, she did, and he arrived promptly, and was greeted by "Tell me im going home or pick a window" to which he replied "you have a few stones, but they are too small to do anything do" so i packed up, ate the salad i had ordered for tea (wasnt bad actually) and ran out to my car, and tore down hte road, Trivium blaring out the windows!!! WOOOOO
