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Well, me and beano had a great night last night.
Started in Durty's. A friend of beano's met us for a drink, but she, and her friend, werent drinkin, only cokes for them. They left after two drinks, said they had to work, didnt believe them, suspected cider induced commentary was real reason
Then the fun started. Me and dave got chatted up by two 50 year old women. Very scary. Tried hard not to allow conversation to move onto women or relationships or anything that could be interpreted as a "come on". Wondorous conversation about russian tractors was quashed by the bullshit factory that is beano's mouth. Seems, unknown to me, dave is a Porsche salesman. Seemed to impress the ladies. Mistake.
So i had to follow through, said i was big in the security game, not sure why i said that, possibly the comical look the bouncer was giving us.
Eventually they had to go, i suspected their hips were giving them trouble, but not before emotionally scarring me with talk of how young lads go all night long. Shocked expression on my face was met by laughter from the bags, then one said they ment the drinking, not what popped into my head. Then one of the women fell off her chair, and her head landed right on my crotch. Had sudden thought of reaching for the Wire Brush and Detol. They made quick sharp for the exits.
Left durty's, still remarkably sober, probably shock induced by the chat up , bad thoughts and possible loss of genitalia.
We went to Paddy Maguires where we had the privilage to see the worst U2 tribute this side of Mars. By god they sucked. On the upside we met an English babe who brought us to PJ o BRiens (other bar). Unfortunately, had no camera to take her pic, and it was one in the morning, so the bar was tossing out.
Decided to go to Paddy's Tavern. An Irish Club. Looked good on outside, suspect my impression was more based on the english girl saying it was good than the club itself, low cut tops are dangerous things.
Went inside. Got flashback to the Lodge in limerick. Very scary, meat maket type place. Was immediatly jostled by a juggernaut from cork, but remembered that alcohol was needed to made my excusses and ran to the bar.
Got two pints o cider, then got asked to order a bottle of some pinkish drink for the english one. Damn you low cut tops.....
Ordered and ended up paying for the fecker. Beano meanwhile purchased two Jack and Cokes. Interesting choice.
Found out the hard way that the english girl was just looking for drink outta us. She wanted another drink, i wanted a kiss, she said no, we left.
Spent the next hour wandering around sydney, looking for a taxi, feckin hard thing at fourin the morning. got one anyway. Went back to kingsford (where we live), but got out at McDonalds for compulsory fodder. Got fodder, walked home, tried to get into the pub near us (tis 24hr), bouncer was having none of it, so we wlked home. Good night was had by all, though i still feel weird about those pensioners. Feckin hippies
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