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TESTICULATING Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps
on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and
advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going
on. This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)
SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops
working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the #$%^ out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above
the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are
often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they
were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded
"administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
located.
OHNOSECOND That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that
you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all') New
Oxford Dictionary definitions
GOING FOR A McS#$T Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention
of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a
pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their
food afterwards is known as a McS#$t with Lies.
BEER COAT The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a
booze cruise at 3am in the morning.
BEER COMPASS The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home
after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where
you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
BOBFOC Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
BREAKING THE SEAL Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of
drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to
the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of
the night.
BRITNEY SPEARS Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please"
JOHNNY-NO-STARS A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical
adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes
from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants
often wear to show their level of training.
MONKEY BATH A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:
"Oo!Oo!Ho! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while
you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the
unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when
you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning
before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and
leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
NELSON MANDELA Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).
PEARLHARBOUR Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a
bit PearlHarbour" out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)
SALAD DODGER An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
TART FUEL Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.
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