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Qantas...old but good! http://faolain.net/thelads3/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=193 |
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Author: | Mary [ Mon May 09, 2005 3:20 pm ] |
Post subject: | Qantas...old but good! |
> After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet,which > conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the > flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the > problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what > remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before > the > next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a > sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and > problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by > maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that > has > never had an accident. > > (P = The problem logged by the pilot.) > (S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.) > > P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. > S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. > > P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. > S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. > > P: Something loose in cockpit. > S: Something tightened in cockpit. > > P: Dead bugs on windshield. > S: Live bugs on back-order. > > P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. > S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. > > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. > S: Evidence removed. > > P: DME volume unbelievably loud. > S: DME volume set to more believable level. > > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. > S: That's what they're there for. > > P: IFF inoperative. > S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. > > P: Suspected crack in windshield. > S: Suspect you're right. > > P: Number 3 engine missing. > S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. > > P: Aircraft handles funny. > S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. > > P: Target radar hums. > S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. > > P: Mouse in cockpit. > S: Cat installed. > > P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding > on something with a hammer. > S: Took hammer away from midget. > > |
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