if it's any consolation jo, i'm in me cubicle sweating pure lager out of every pore, damn u stella artois
eating half a stone of eddie rockets after about 14 pints is never wise carry on at all.
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| Tourism Ireland http://faolain.net/thelads3/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=205 |
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| Author: | joanne [ Thu May 26, 2005 8:20 am ] |
| Post subject: | Tourism Ireland |
I sent this to you jim but thought i'd put it up funny shite. Cavan: filthy, ignorant hillbillies, puritanical papists. > > > Hobbies: discovering IRA ammo dumps and knitting black balaclavas. Kerry: stupid but loveable Hobbies: Gaelic football, scraping pig foetus off their wellies and chain-smoking. Wicklow North: sports car driving country snobs (Greystones, Enniskerry) Hobbies: Sticking their noses in the air and referring to themselves as "one". Wicklow South: sheep shaggers. Hobbies: Sitting in field with their neighbours and talking about the"banjaxed hydraulics on the JCB", collecting the dole. Dublin North: criminals, drug dealers and factory workers, easy women, unmarried mothers, skinheads and all-round examples of human waste. Hobbies: Heroin and watching serial numbers being filed off stolen BMW's, Doing hand-breakers. Dublin South: west Brits, snobs, rich, easy glamorous women. Hobbies: colonic irrigation and sleeping with their best friend's spouse. Limerick: violent, racist scum of the earth, knife-wielding prostitutes. Hobbies: play rugby while stabbing each other with screwdrivers and then complaining about their city's bad reputation. Donegal: look down on all-others, aloof. Hobbies: Turning their noses up at all and sundry Cork: jealous of Dubliners, highly-sexualized women. Hobbies: Standing at the side of the Motorway and making smug faces at the cars with Dublin plates. Tipperary: beautiful pristine girls, hard to get into bed but worth it if you can because that County does not have two different Ridings for nothing! Hobbies: Getting a flat in Dublin and losing their accents and hoping their parents don't find out. Meath: Dublin wannabes. Hobbies: Beating Dublin at GAA and hoping that one day somebody in Dublin will actually notice. Galway: sophisticated boggers could be mistaken for a South Dubliner, sexually adventurous, cultured and wealthy. Hobbies: Teaching sex acrobatics to foreign tourists, dropping acid, paying a million pounds for a three bedroom suburban house and pretending it was a bargain. Kildare: alcoholics. Hobbies: Waking up in barns with a bottle on one side and hatchet-faced Biddy on the other. Mayo: Depressing, defeatist, negative, misery-laden losers, emigrate as soon as the umbilical cord is cut. Hobbies: Dropping a lighted cigarette on his mattress and then being burned alive in a Cricklewood boarding house so he can have his remains flown back to Knock Airport for burial. Louth: IRA supporters, smugglers and bandits, beautiful girls (Dundalk). Hobbies: Tearing through Cooley at 125MPH trying to stop the boxes of cheap vodka from falling out the window. Waterford: decent honest hard-workers generally good folks. Hobbies: Calling a strike. Clare: fiddle-playing charming simpletons and, more recently, neo-nazis. Hobbies: Falling into pot-holes and being never heard from ever again. Sligo: go-getters, strong sense of free enterprise, likes to make cash. Hobbies: get rich and b*llix to everything else. Kilkenny: harmless innocent alcoholics. Hobbies: Sending their only son to fashion college in Dublin and then wondering why he never brings girls home and why he is always looking in The Brown Thomas catalogue? Carlow: who cares? Hobbies: Move to Dublin and then best forgotten about. Offaly: mad for playing sports and having fun, generally liked. Hobbies: To win a pub. Leitrim: Enigmatic reclusive weirdos. Hobbies: Being absorbed into surrounding counties, quietly. Longford: Gombeen men. > > > Hobbies: Legalizing bestiality. Laois: the real boggers and proud of it generally held in high esteem by Dubliners. Hobbies: Living an honest life, collecting EU development grants. Westmeath: Mysterious boggers, cryptic. Hobbies: Trying, unsuccessfully, to get noticed. Wexford: selling their "home-grown" organic fruit (bought at supermarket that morning) at the side of the road in summer and ripping-off gullible Dubliners out for a drive in the country. Hobbies: Ripping off tourists is more than enough. Roscommon and Monaghan are missing, but sure did anyone notice > > > > > > > > > |
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| Author: | Ninger [ Thu May 26, 2005 12:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
kilkenny: harmless innocent alcoholics: spot on me thinks although i've never been in brown thomas in me life. pint of smithwicks and a straw please |
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| Author: | joanne [ Thu May 26, 2005 2:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
exactly what i'll be doing in 2days I'm expirencing exam alcoholic withdrawal sypmtons. Not cool, the pub is calling me yet I have to study damn university. |
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| Author: | Ninger [ Thu May 26, 2005 2:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
if it's any consolation jo, i'm in me cubicle sweating pure lager out of every pore, damn u stella artois eating half a stone of eddie rockets after about 14 pints is never wise carry on at all.
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| Author: | shortword [ Thu May 26, 2005 7:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
lol ninger ... myself and the doctor are going out for 1 or 2 tonight. ning nong what ya at fur der weekend? |
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| Author: | shortword [ Fri May 27, 2005 7:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
was out in graig again last night ... maudy's last night until she returns from Oz. Anyways far too much drank for mid week. Also ninger we were drinking more of those green shots. All fun. |
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| Author: | Ninger [ Fri May 27, 2005 8:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
keep them green shots far away from me, pure evil in a shot glass them things.  body back to normal today thank god, feel remotely human again. i'm heading to dublin for the weekend paul, going to see i keano tomorrow, should be good.
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| Author: | cat [ Fri May 27, 2005 8:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Bloody hell, we're only gone 5 minutes and there's a new drink already! I don't know what we'll do when we get home - it'll be like a different planet! 
Also, don't know why this came to mind but how green are they? |
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| Author: | DJ [ Fri May 27, 2005 11:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Were ye on the green Short Truce again. Fecking Tiolet Duck tastes better than that shite. Around of applause for ninger for making his tag rugby debut last night and not getting sick during the match |
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| Author: | Ninger [ Fri May 27, 2005 2:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
feed me the rock coach, i'm open there was a 4minute spell early in d 2nd half when me boxer shorts were in serious jeopardy
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| Author: | jimmy [ Sun May 29, 2005 11:20 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
what the feck are these green shots we're hearing of. Whats in them?? |
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| Author: | joanne [ Mon May 30, 2005 2:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Cat what were them shots we were drinkin on the weekend? They were deadly 
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| Author: | cat [ Mon May 30, 2005 9:10 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Not too sure if this is how you spell it properly but Jagermeister I think? That stuff should be made illegal. 
I hope that no-one experiences the hangover that I experienced last night! Good God it was woeful! |
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| Author: | joanne [ Mon May 30, 2005 9:15 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I know exactly what you mean, still recovering 
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| Author: | shortword [ Mon May 30, 2005 9:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
that stuff is mad. The shite we drink is fairly harmless until ya hit number 10 ... kind of reminds me of the time me and ninger drank a heap of after shock or maybe it reminds me of the time that i dont remember drinking them ... http://chowned.org/who.needs.tits.jpg Who needs tits?? |
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