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| Mr T Facts http://faolain.net/thelads3/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=371 |
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| Author: | jimmy [ Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Mr T Facts |
We had Chuck Norris, now we have Mr T ----------------------------------------------------------- Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk. Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity. You have only seen Mr. T in human form. In Narnia, he is a T. Rex with a lion's tail hanging out of his mouth. Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity. Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah. 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence. In 1995, Mr. T was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma but he pitied his own fool cells until the disease turned into T-cell lymphoma. Upon closer inspection by doctors, the cancerous T-cells now had mohawks, gold chains around their nucleus and were tired of the other cell's jibba-jabba. Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's. Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it. Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors. Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed. They say when a bear is chasing a group of people, you don't have to outrun the bear, but only have to be faster than the slowest person. If Mr. T is chasing you, you're dead no matter what. Why does Mr. T wear still have his mohawk? Cause his reflection pities the fool who don't! Mr. T's sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man. In 1989, Mr. T systematically killed every member of the band "MR. MISTER" for stealing his first name. The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history. Revolving doors were invented to keep Mr. T from kicking them in all the time. Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him. Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's. Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T. In the unlikely event that Mr. T ever pitied himself, the universe would immediately revert to 1982. Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him. Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T. Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain. Sticks and stones may break your bones but Mr T. will also crush your internal organs. Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters. Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba. The glorious, blinding dazzle of Mr. T's gold chains can cure Alzheimer's Disease. Unfortunately, the glorious, blinding dazzle of his biceps causes it. Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang. |
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| Author: | Jen [ Tue Nov 29, 2005 4:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I have finally found the title for my thesis!!!! Quote: Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's
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| Author: | jimmy [ Mon Jan 09, 2006 10:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Mr. T's sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man. Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That's 100 fools pitied a second. On all 3428 instances it occured, when Mr. T and Chuck Norris both 'deflower' the same woman, the resulting spermal battles have caused the woman's uterus to explode in a flurry of pity and roundhouse kicks. Mr. T doesn't have internal organs. He had them removed to make more room for muscle. The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Mr. T's neck was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox. I Love this one: It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T. |
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| Author: | shortword [ Wed Jan 11, 2006 10:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise. The T virus in Resident Evil is based on what happens to a person when they are exposed overwhelming amounts of pity inflicted by Mr. T. There is currently no cure. Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson. Contrary to popular belief, the T actually stands for time. As in you have none left, fool. Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang. Mr. T once looked a gift horse in the mouth. He then proceeded to pity it due to its poor dental hygeine. Mr. T is neither male or female.. he is his own gender... its called T. Mr. T, Vin Diesel, and Chuck Norris once got into a fight in a laboratory containing radioactive substances. After they were done there was only one person left, Mr. Chuck Diesel, who was a bionic prototype of all three. The prototype was sold to the Soviet Union for over 50 million dollars, but was soon discovered to be, due to a personality defect, metrosexual and obsessed with knitting. It was immediately destroyed and ground into a fine white powder, now referred to as cocaine. Mr. T was originally planned to play the lead role in Knight Rider, but David Hasselhoff didn't like riding around on Mr. T's back as Mr. T often broke the speed of sound permanently damaging Mr. Hasselhoff's hearing. This explains why David Hasselhoff sings like he does. |
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