|
I'm still waitin for the sippowitz from nypd blue list but until then we'll have to make do with the "acting" phenomenom that is Vin Diesel.....
If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End
Lives."
Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection.
There were no survivors.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to
live.
When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead
requests a hand gun and a bucket.
There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team.
Helen Keller's favourite colour is Vin Diesel.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill
you, including the room itself.
Vin Diesel can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time.
He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being
able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed,
"This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the
book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate
belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and
Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been referred to as
Christmas.
Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo
controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child"
sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.
When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets
Vin instead.
When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then
she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept
with.
Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year Later you would
have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's.
When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for
queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
Vin Diesel played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass
like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him
destroy an orphanage.
Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's
shit.
Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last
unicorn in existence.
When Vin Diesel does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the
Earth down.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it
notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the
book are simply the closest anyone has ever Come to matching him.
On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into
the sun.
Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
Vin Diesel's hair is too afraid of him to grow.
Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the
direction of Vin Diesel. He just likes to sit on a lawn chair and shout,
"Jackets are for pussies!" at the Arctic researchers.
You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of
bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
During a stay at Neverland Ranch in the 80's, Vin Diesel was awoken by Michael
Jackson who was trying to sneak into his bed. Vin Punched Jackson so hard that
he knocked the black right off of him.
_________________ I'm not even supposed to be here today.
|
Login
FAQ
Search
