the lads

The wife comes home early & finds her husband in their master bedroom
making love to a beautiful young woman...

"You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! How dare you do this to me - the
faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you, I want a
divorce!"

The husband, replies "Wait, Wait a minute! Before you leave, at least
listen to what happened"

"Fine, but it'll be the last words you say to me you unfaithful pig!"

The husband begins to tell his story . . .

"While driving home this young lady asks for a ride. I saw her so
defenseless that I went ahead and allowed her in my car. I noticed that
she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She mentioned that
she had not eaten for 3 days. With great compassion and hurt, I brought
her home and warmed up the enchiladas that I made for you last night
that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll gain weight; the
poor thing, practically devours them.

Since she was very dirty I asked her to take a shower. While she was
showering, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw
her clothes away.

Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans that you have had
for a few years, that you can no longer wear because they are too tight
on you, I also gave her The blouse that I gave you on our anniversary
and you don't wear because I don't have good taste. I gave her the
pullover that my sister gave you for Christmas that you will not wear
just to bother my sister and I also gave her the boots that you bought
at the expensive boutique that you never wore again after you saw your
co-worker wearing the same pair."

The husband continues his story . . . . .

"The young woman was very grateful to me and I walked her to the door.

When we got to the door she turned around and with tears coming out of
her eyes, she asks me:

"Sir, do you have anything else that your wife does not use?"

_________________
I'm not even supposed to be here today.

That kicks ass.

_________________

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