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UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
Contestant : Goosey, Goosey?
THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson : In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.
Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant : Bombay.
Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Anne Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting) : Pass!
Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant : Chocolate salesmen.
Anne Robinson : The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
Contestant : Geronimo!
NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant : William Shakespeare.
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
Searle : In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller : Er... Mexico?
FAMILY FORTUNES
1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword
2 ) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon
3 ) Name the capital of France? - F
4 ) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell
5 ) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar
6 ) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital
7 ) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil
8 ) A famous Scotsman? - Jock
9 ) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.
10 ) A dangerous race? - The Arabs
11 ) Something that floats in a bath? - Water
12 ) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse
13 ) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair
14 ) A famous Royal? - Mail
15 ) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with wings
16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
17 ) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet
18 ) Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate
19 ) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on
20 ) Something associated with pigs? - The Police
21 ) A sign of the Zodiac? - April
22 ) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing
23 ) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep
24 ) Something you put on walls? - A roof
25 ) Something slippery? - A conman
26 ) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish
27 ) A jacket potato topping? - Jam
28 ) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato
29 ) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas
30 ) Something red? - My sweater
RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
Presenter : Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.
STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
Wright : On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.
Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant : Espresso.
Wright : What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.
THIS MORNING
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false?
Contestant : True?
Judy Finnegan : No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that.
BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause) : Fourteen days.
BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
Presenter : Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant : Four
BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
Wood : What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant : Blimey?
Wood : Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?
DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
Daryl Denham : In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant : No.
_________________
'I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.'"
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