the lads

Sideways (to the tune of ‘My Way’)

And now, I’ve seen her rear
The time has come, to stop the flirtin’
My friends, I’ll say it clear
In half an hour I will be spurtin’
My knob has been well pulled
It’s travelled up the mucky highway
But more, much more than this
I’ve done it sideways

Sex toys, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
In a horsebox
Without suspension
Good head, it made her hoarse
But then again, it was a dry day
I spun her ’round, slapped her ass
And took her sideways

Yes, there were times
I’m sure you knew
When she couldn’t swallow
Until she chewed
But through it all
When there was doubt
I drove it in
And whipped it out
She took it all
And I stood tall
And did it sideways

I’ve shoved, so hard I cried
I’ve taken pills to ease the bruising
And now as tears subside
It’s time again to go back boozing
To think, we did all that
In seven rooms, on a Good Friday
But more, much more than this
We did it sideways

For what is a man?
What has he got?
17 inches
Throbbing and hot
He truly feels
That he is King
When he whips out
That fearsome thing
The record shows
She blows and blows
And does it sideways!

c 2004 Lyrics by Dave Connolly, Sean Hosty and Dave Langan
Performed by the Rank Pack (Skanky Davis Jr, Dean Manky and Rank Sinatra)