Well its happened again, ive aged another year and still not found out what responsibility is!!!
We had a good weekend of it though.
Friday night we went to see a Super 12's game (Rugby with twelve players). Was excellent craic, got stuck into the VB at the game, it tasted like muck but it didnt matter.
From there we went to Durty Nelly's and had a good auld scoop. Benny got mouldy and had to leave. Katleeen later told me that he was calling her for about an hour giving out about not being able to get a taxi. HA HA drunkeness and directions, like oil and water, kelly and fiona large, ninger and john colfer, mark smyth and the a.m. half of the day, some things just dont work well together..
From then on myself and beano and coady had another few drinkies, but the lads decided to head home to be able to get up the next morning. At the time i was full of beer and thought i was the man, and declared that work could go and stick its head up its own hole, and headed into a metal club i found a few months ago.
Unfortunately it is now under new management and the git on the door doesnt like me, feckin aussie git, half doc hore's size, and gayer than a guy in the george wearing leather jeans and a pink fluffy vest.
I got talking to this other guy in the queue, and eventually the asexual langer on the door let us in. The guy i was talking to looked exactly like Slash out of Guns N Roses. Kinda Cool. Met his friends then. I thought i was after meetig up with some GNR tribute band, Duff, McKagan, Axl and even Izzy were there, all playing pinball on a, get this, Guns N Roses pinball machine. The humor was not lost on yours truely, and i had to helped up off the ground.
Next morning i got a phonecall from a disappointed employer, namely Jay Joyce, telling me to get my arse into work this minute. I did. And made it in time. A small miracle in my books. Anyway, as i was just about to be late, i fecked my bag, with my MP3 player under a bush and headed for the site, not even thinking of putting my stuff in the lockers provided. D'OH. Went back at break time, bag gone. Oh well, shit happens is all i can say.
So, work progressed as pretty much everyone expected. The entire site could have done with a handfull of morphene tablets. Hangovers abounded, and the boss that i'm working for (not jay, he just pays me) decided on this day to tell us all that if we were caught doing nothing we were finished there. Prick.
Anyway, finished work at one, headed home. Got home and got changed and headed to Coogee Beach with a bit of food (6 Pork Chops, 6 Salmon Steaks, 1kg Cooked Prawns, 6 Chicken Wings) and met up with Benny and Kathleen to celebrate my non stop march to the coffin!!!! Sweet.
Much beer was bought, and a good few of the lads we all know arrived, and more beer was bought. Jay Joyce managed to make it down, and was extreemly happy, laughing the whole time....
Anyway, Kathleen had made up about ten of her spicy burgers, and there were bloody lovely. We also had about 2kg of rump steak left over from the camping trip (frozen since we bought it) and that went down a treat.
After the food was gone, everyone got stuck into some beer, then some more beer. Then it got dark. A few of the lads had to head on, i wasnt paying attention to the reasons so i cant tell you why. Gers german friends arrived and thusly discussions about the consumption of disco biscuits and the signifigance of Darth Vader on german culture began. I was not the instigator of the Darth Vader dibate, benny was. Oh that reminds me, benny got me a Lightsaber for my birthday, feckin pure class, lights up and makes sounds and everything!!!
After this we headed to the coogee bay hotel, and it starts to get hazy. After a few beers, i went to the bog and decided to make a few phone calls (you know who you are, i am truly sorry about my drunken ramblings, excelt to kevin morgan, expect to hear from my solicitor..
)
I left the toilet, but upon checking my pockets i was unable to find any trace of my phone. I took a moment and thought to myself,
hmm, this is something of a quandary wrapped by an enigma, inside in a stamped addressed mystery, delivered by a predicament,
where, oh where is my portable cellular telecommunications device. Unfortunately my mouth got the following instruction, and top volume,
FUCKING BASTARD WHERE'S ME FECKIN PHONE
So i looked around the toilet, down the toilet, then i traced my steps back to the pub, then had one of the lads ring it while i went back to the toilet to see if any slimshady had a phone ringing with the gremlins theme tune on it. Nope, no one had such a phone. So, now pure bull tick with the whisky in me, i decided not to ruin everyones night by going on like a bollox, and jumped into a taxi (i expect to be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for that by the way) and headed home.
I paid the taxi driver and jumped out of the taxi, and heard a clatter behind me, that moved past my right leg and on two or so metres in front of me, straight into the path of an on coming car. My portable cellular telecommunications device had decided its game of hide and seek had gone on too long, and come to the conclusion that suicide would teach me a leason. Luckily my ninja reflexes and immunity to cars helped me run and snatch the little silver bollox from the rubber tyre ending it was looking for.
Gave serious thought to going back to Coogee, but decided i had had enough, especially since by the time i made a decision i had gone to bed and it was now sunday and i was hungover.
There is not only photographic evidence but also video evidence, coady ya feckin luuder
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, u can set ur watch for sunshine when the exams start in ul and for a monsoon on the saturday they finish, hee hee.
